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Gay Therapy Derby Derbyshire Nottingham Nottinghamshire

In Gay Issues on November 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

Gay Therapist Derby Debyshire

I am a gay hypnotherapist near Derby and Nottingham offering gay therapy in the form of Hypnotherapy, EMSRP, NLP and EFT to anyone who wants to change their life. Whoever we are, and whatever our gender or sexuality, we can all sometimes go through troubling and challenging times. The most popular issues I help anyone with are stress, low confidence, low self esteem, fears, anxieties and phobias, relationships, shame, depression, sexuality and many more life issues.

Whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transgender (LGBTQ+) it can help your confidence in seeking gay therapy to meet and discuss what you want to change with a gay therapist.

For most people, seeking the help of a stranger can be daunting enough. If you then feel you have to hide or be discerning about your life and the relationships you enjoy because you think the therapist will judge you, it can impede what you want to achieve in therapy.

Gay Therapist DerbySteven Harold is a gay man and has helped many gay men, lesbian women, bisexual men and women at his London therapy practice. He has now relocated to Derbyshire and is convenient for Derby and Nottingham. As an experienced and professional therapist you can be assured of privacy and confidentiality in any session with Steven.

Gay Therapy

No matter what our sexuality is, we can all suffer from life situtaions that test our resolve and make us question whether we can change. If you have struggled with low confidence, anxiety, stress, anger and frustration therapy can help you with these. For some gay men or lesbian women a sense of shame or low self esteem can hamper a successful career and get in the way of enjoying a relationship. Bullying may have been a factor in the past that still affects you today or you may fear being abused at home, work or elsewhere.

Free Gay Hypnosis ConsultationFree Initial Consultation in Heanor Derbyshire

Whatever you current need, you can take advantage of the no-obligation free initial consultation to discuss your goals for therapy and meet Steven to find out more about the therapy he provides. You can phone him for an informal chat in confidence on 01773 436796 or email him at info@hypnosisderbyshire.com

 

Gay Therapy Skype Sessions

If you are unable to make it to the Derbyshire practice there is a possibility of you having supportive and affirmative Gay therapy with Steven over Skype. Use the email address to contact him above.

 

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Same Sex Relationships Problems Derbyshire

In Couples on April 25, 2013 at 10:41 am

Same Sex Relationship Problems Derbyshire

Same sex relationship problems happen as they do all LGBTQ+ and heterosexual relationships. Any personal relationship, no matter what the sexuality of the couple are, can go through some difficult and challenging times. To be part of a relationship means that you have to take on another identity along with the individual identity you joined the relationship with. The new identity is one of being and being seen as a couple. Most individuals take to this easily but for some people it can be a challenging time.

Typical Challenges that can happen in any relationship are :-

1) Communication – somehow or another the couple have stopped talking to each other about the important things in life; emotions, needs, etc. Communication is more about practical aspects of living together. If more personal and emotional aspects are touched on, arguments may arise and it can lead to both parties feeling like they just can’t speak about feelings without it leading to an explosion.

2) Sex – what was acceptable at the beginning of the relationship is not longer acceptable now. Relationships change and love-making needs to get apace with this. If love-making has become routine and formulaic it will become boring and one or both partners may seek other liaisons to satisfy what they are not getting in the relationship

3) Responsibility Agreements – relationships and practical agreements may evolve without any verbalised agreements. One person might be the tidier individual and end up always being the one to clean the house whilst the partner doesn’t do anything to help. Eventually this can lead to problems because one person can feel the efforts are in vain or are not appreciated. Typically a statement that emphasises this issue is “Why is it always me that has to ….. (eg. clean, drive, sort things out etc)”

4) Priorities – relationships settle down and as a couple feel more secure the relationship can start to be taken for granted by one or both people. Rather than keeping the relationship as the most important aspect, it starts to slide down the league table of what’s important and after a while feelings of anger, hurt and resentment start to surface.

5) Differences – as much as being an LGBTQ+ couple is an identity where most decisions are agreed on, if their are differences in taste, opinions or priorities, that become a bigger feature of interaction, and these are not handled with respect and honesty, it can lead to an unhappy and unfulfilling life together

6) Honesty – for any healthy gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer or non-binary relationship, honesty and trust must be present. Lying and leading a secret life will eventually have an impact on the relationship. Someone who is dishonest will have low self esteem because they know they are lying and they can’t hide from themselves. The person who is being deceived will lose faith and trust and will wonder if they can ever feel secure in the relationship again.

7) Finances – when a couple are going through a stressful financial time this can put a strain on the relationship particularly if one person is working and the other is unemployed. Gay and Lesbian relationships can gio through the same issues.

8) Out or In for some gay or lesbian couples, and transgender, questioning or non-binary relationships, one the couple may be out to their friends, family and colleagues and the other partner may not have come out yet. Whilst this situation may have been acceptable at the start of the relationship, after a while there may be some resentment building up. The partner who is out is able to share their network of family and friends openly but have to put up with being referred to as a friend or flat mate when meeting the “not out” partners family or friends.

9) Childhood trauma – occasionally someone’s childhood experiences have left unresolved issues for one of the partners in an LGBTQ+ relationship. Unfortunately those experiences may lead to certain behaviours, urges, patterns that are not healthy for an individual or for the relationship. For example, the fear of rejection can leave a person feeling really needy or on the other hand, make them quite cold and hard, never showing their emotions and never allowing their partner to get close.

10) Religion – one or either of the partners in a same sex, transgender or non-binary relationship may have come from a religious background where their belief still plays a central role in their life. If both partners have strong and yet different religious beliefs, this can be a challenge. However with respect, it is not insurmountable. It is also possible that each partner’s family may use their common beliefs as a way of manipulating the relationship.

11) Parenting – A gay man or lesbian woman may have had a heterosexual partner in the past with whom they have children. This can have an impact on a homosexual relationship as it does at time on a new heterosexual relationship. As with heterosexual couples, a decision may be made about bringing children into the LGBTQ+ family. Discussions can be around whether to adopt, use a semen donor or surrogate mother.  These decisions can also prove challenging.

12) Gender roles – it doesn’t hold today that certain roles are solely for a male or female. Indeed with some people not identifying as male or female but as non-binary, roles and responsibilities are best resolved on a basis other than outdated stereotypes. For example in a heterosexual relationship the biggest earner might be the woman. Likewise in a same-sex relationship it isn’t true that roles are divided between who is more masculine or feminine. There can be a lot of flexibility about roles.

It is fair to say that all relationships have their challenges. Gay men, lesbian women, transgender male to female or female to male, within couples will have extra challenges that can put a strain on their relationship. However with understanding and being prepared to discuss opinions and feelings, it is possible to have a long-lasting loving relationship with whoever you have fallen in love with.

With the advent of civil partnerships and gay marriage, the legal status of gay and lesbian relationships can add a dimension to same-sex relationships that is still in its infancy. Likewise, it is hoped that anyone can marry and have a secure legal status no matter how they recognise themselves in the acronym LGBTQ+

 

steve03Steven Harold utilises a process called EMSRP (Expressive Meta-Schematic Re-Patterning) to look at your past and current relationships. Your childhood influences affect how you are today and will impact on your personal relationship.

EMSRP uses hypnosis, coaching, NLP and life, to help you feel more empowered and get the healthy relationship you deserve. So many people who identify as LGBTQ+, have had numerous experiences of non-acceptance, rejection, abuse and isolation, that it can be difficult to be your true self in your relationship.

Steve Harold, (Hypnotherapist Derby, Heanor Derbyshire)  uses EMSRP to help you return to being the authentic and natural you. You can be a strong confident and powerful gay man, lesbian woman, transgender man or woman or non-binary person. Once you accept yourself you are more likely to be accepted by others.

Want to have a chat about how Steve could help you? Call him on 01773 436796 or email on gaytherapist@hypnosisderbyshire.com

 

 

Self Acceptance

In Coming Out, Self Acceptance on November 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

It’s healthy for us to accept ourselves as we are. This is true of a person no matter what their sexuality or identity: gay, straight, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual, transgender, transsexual, queer or whatever you feel you are.

Self Acceptance V Denial and Hiding

Self acceptance may be a challenge for many people in many varying parts of their life. For example the person who relies on alcohol to such an extent that they can’t face a day without it may be in denial about being an alcoholic. They have not accepted this part of themselves and until they do, they will never seek to change that part them. Whilst some aspects such as sexual identity are not changeable, what is changeable is how we view ourselves and our identity.

Many gay, lesbian and bisexual people go through a period of denial and not wanting to admit to themselves that they are attracted to the same sex. No matter how hard they try it doesn’t change anything. Denial unfortunately does not change anything and can make matters worse. Unhappiness, shame, guilt, depression, self-harming, self-loathing and even suicide can be the result of prolonged denial.

Happiness and Self Acceptance

The path to happiness is self-acceptance. Now of course this can be easy to say and not so easy to accomplish for everyone. there will always be examples of the ideal scenario. The time a friend came out to friends and family and got a wonderful response. Life is not always like this. In the past coming out may have led to rejection by those you love and abuse and bullying. In fact for a while self-acceptance and coming out can seem like the worst decision for anyone that gets a negative reaction.

Yet only through being your true self can you experience the relief of no longing having to hide an important part of you from others. For the first time you don’t have to think twice or be guarded about how you act or what you say about your relationships. Through being your true self you can feel more confident about handling those around you who may try and criticise you or call you names or use other forms of abuse.

Coming Out to Yourself

More than anything else, happiness begins by coming out to yourself. By accepting yourself as gay, lesbian or bisexual you are taking the first steps towards that life of contentment and happiness. As you know life is never a smooth journey, and that’s part of the reality of life but feeling like you can be the authentic you that you always wanted to be can give you the courage to manage whatever comes your way and to enjoy the pleasant surprises too.

Experienced Help and Support

If you need any help with acceptance, coming out or stress and anxiety around this area, I would delighted to help you. Having been through this myself, I have experience of what you are going through.